Twist and Shout

The way companies are now packaging their products, entertains me think, their ideas must have come straight from the mind of a second seduce twelve year old. A senior with arthritis the person for whom the drug was bottled, needs to have a pair of pliers, a flat head screwdriver, and plenty of pass to open a bottle of pain medication. By the way, shouldnt that be anti-pain medicine? But then why do we c wholly the little candies that informality our cough, cough drops and non, anti-cough drops? Getting back to safe caps on medicine bottles, It is next to impossible to open unity of those lids.One medicine bottle says, follow the arrows to open, advertize down and turn. This sounds easy enough if you are strengthened standardized Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem with easy open bottles is the person in need of the medication is probably built more like Kermit the frog with Typhoid Fever. Its ridiculous when you need to purchase TNT to blow by the cap of the pain medicatio n container. The safety cap is designed to keep kids from opening the bottle and swallowing the meds. The problem is a child can open them much easier than a senior citizen under the lift out of conditions.I can see it now. Grampa, give me the bottle, Ill open it for you. But, you are only five and this cap is attached to the bottle with super glue. I underwrite you the five year old will have that top off before you can pronounce the name of the medication. The list of side effects on some of these meds is multitudinous. These bottles site every contraindication known to man, including, the inability to move, or think clearly, which may provoke, one to think maybe it would be better if I position down and died.This medication, the label states, may take in dizziness, light headedness, Vertigo, cramps, diarrhea, constipation, headaches, ear aches, Gingivitis, Gout, fainting spells, stomach pains, thoughts of suicide, and even death. For goodness sake, Im only taking it for a h eadache, not preparing for cremation. I guess we cant blame the drug companies for listing everything that can happen to a person if they take their medicine. People today, through all media, are urged to sue for everything. The advent of television advertising has branched out in these last few years allowing lawyers to advertise their services.Television advertising has last a haven for ambulance chasers and their ilk. I heard the story of a man who sued a motor coach comp both for damages caused when his vehicle crashed. He claimed he was driving down a stretch of road, in his new motor coach, when he decided hed go back to the kitchen area and brew a pot of coffee. He put the vehicle on cruise control. The coach crashed, and he was injured, the vehicle demolished. He sued the company for not writing in their brochures that you couldnt leave the drivers seat while the vehicle was in motion.He won the case and was awarded a sum of money and a new coach. You are advised to think b efore you buy any product, take aim the label However, the print is so smooth, you need a magnifying glass the size of it of a manhole cover to read the instructions on the bottle. Some meds have the side effects written on four sheets of paper inside the incase in which the medicine came. All of this inane nonsense is due to sue happy spate looking to make a quick buck. Some people play the lottery while others sue companies the odds in winning are about the same.If you do win in court, the attorney takes his share off the top, probably around sixty percent, and you get the rest after court costs and taxes. Dont give up your day job. Oh, not you, Im talking to you, the plaintiff, not your lawyer. Mr Attorney, you are doing just fine in the finance department. That ad on TV has really paid off, hasnt it? hithers my idea for packaging medicine. Put a paper seal on the medicine bottle with a written three number statute (not in succession). Break the seal, dial the number and op en the bottle. As for side effects simply write Take at your own risk, may cause a myriad of diseases and possibly death.Talk to your physician. Dont sue us, we told you what could happen. As for manufacturers of motor coaches, all they need to write is Hey stupid if you want a cup of coffee stop at a roadside diner. This is one I love as I recall going to the drug gunstock for my mother. She had, over the years, adopted a poor sleeping habit, and needed a medication to help her sleep. As the pharmacist passed me the bottle of sleeping medication, I read the label that had been attached to the little brown bottle. It read may cause dizziness, restlessness, insomnia and drowsiness. If it causes insomnia, why would anyone want to use the drug in the first place? And one can only hope it does cause drowsiness, after all, thats why you bought it in the first place, isnt it? There are other stumbling blocks to the senior people with a skull and crossbones emblem emblazoned on the labe l a universal sign denoting it is a dangerous material. We should look under the emblem, thither we will find, in small print, for external use only. What makes the manufacturer of a product with enough chemicals to start World War III write for external use only on their bottle.Are they afraid someone is going to use it as a mixer at their cocktail party? If its ammonia, you wont be commensurate to get it past your nose in the first place. Speaking of dangerous things. How many of you have swallowed a capful of mouthwash? Did you know it is unhealthy? The label says do not swallow. Why on earth are you gargling with a product, that if you swallow it by mistake it could kill you, or at the very least make you sick? Thats like putting dynamite, on which is written, beware dangerous material, in your back pocket and then backing up to a campfire to immediate your backsides.Its the same thing you know too close for comfort either way. What makes a citizen a senior? Answer age. Thoug h some of us dont want people to know we are getting along in years, the wrinkles belie our vanity. Face lifts make the recipient look like a monster out of a 1950s horror movie. I am not ashamed I have made it to three accommodate of a century. I thank God my eyes are still the same color as they were when I was twenty, only slightly dimmer. The hair on my head is moving south at a quickening pace, but it has only transferred from the top of my head to my ears and nose.I cant run any more my walking pace has slowed almost to a crawl, but inside I am still twenty years old. Until I was forty I didnt know what a doctor was, or what they did for work. After I had reached fifty, I was asked to become an associate member of the American Medical Associations Whos Who of most frequent doctors visits list. My mind hasnt grasped the fact my body has aged. It says to me at times get up go for a four mile run, come home take a shower, ride a bike for sixty minutes, eat lunch, skip rope and c limb a small mountain.My body answers for me you have got to be kidding me. There are two fellows whose job it is to see that I remain idle The Ritis Brothers, of which Artha is the outspoken one, and then there is always Mr Meniere. Mr Menieres contribution affects my inner ear my balance. I reel like a drunken pirate with a pine log nab leg teetering back and forth with a dizzying gait But I guess old age is the better of the two alternatives I always say. As long as you are able to get up in the morning and get out of bed you are still this side of the dirt.I have God to thank for my being able to get up in the morning, for it is by His grace that I live and move, and have my being. Without His help, I would be nothing but dust and dirt, present, but useless to anyone or anything. These are the golden years, and gold does not tarnish it is always bright and shiny. Our smiles should be the coefficient of reflection of our souls. As the little girl said to the grumpy old church deacon. Are you happy to be a Christian? He replied, yes I am. therefore tell your face.